My Father's Daughter

You were my biggest re-occurring nightmare.

I ran away from you many years ago..I was terrified of you. I could never please you. Was trying to blossom but your bitterness stunted me. I could not breathe, your presence was so overpowering..I was trying to find myself, but I lost myself being your audience, tried to find my voice but I found myself screaming inwards.

I knew I had a different destiny, I knew I had to find it, but you would not let me..So I tried to run as fast as I could, as far as I could, locked all those memories away..Wanted to never come back..Tried to burn all bridges..

Thought I could forget, but I could not. Your truth surrounded me.

Thought it was possible to hate you, but I could not. Your love guided me.

Thought I could just remember the things you did not do, the words you did not say, but all I could remember were the things you did for me..What you did say to me..I finally could see the love you have for me..How you took care of me, how you raised me, how you never abandoned me, how you stuck to your values, principles, ideals when the whole world was losing their head and soul, your dedication, your pure and unmatched talent, your vision, how you inspired me, how you guided me even when you were not around, how you pushed me to the edge because you knew that would unlock the real me..How you carried yourself with so much pride and dignity..It takes extreme guts, courage and sacrifice to live they way you do..I never appreciated that then but I do now and I hope I have the courage to live my life they way you live yours. Even if I can be your shadow, I will be blessed..

I am sorry I judged you the way I did..I was too young and ignorant to understand the message you were trying to give me..

I am sorry I betrayed you..

I am sorry I left you alone when you needed me the most.

I am sorry I made you cry...

I am sorry I called you heartless..

I am sorry things turned out the way they did.

I am sorry I stole your youth..

I am sorry because I don't know what to do..

I am sorry I never appreciated that you did whatever you could for me..

I am sorry I took your hope away..

I am sorry I did not know how to tell you that I love you..

I am older now, and maybe a little wiser too..I know what it takes to stick around, I know what it takes to make things work..I know what it takes to love and inspire..I look at myself in the mirror and I no longer fight what I see...I am my father's daughter and I am so proud to be...