Happy Father's Day..

I am thoroughly and hopelessly tired and yet I cannot get any sleep because I cannot stop thinking. So here I am on my big king sized bed and I am like why the hell am I sleeping on my side of the bed when there was nobody on the other side? So I decide to lie diagonally in the hope to entice sleep but in vain. It becomes really hard to sleep when you have an entire screenplay of events running at the back of your mind with alarming details. I am thinking of the stuff that I should be including in my book. I am thinking of all the frogs I kissed and of all the toads I fell in love with, I am thinking of finishing all my unfinished errands that I always push on to tomorrow. I am thinking about my Dad. I am thinking about what he must be thinking. He must feel lonely too the way I feel it. He must feel betrayed too, the way I feel betrayed. He must feel angry too, the way I feel angry. We are cut from the same cloth, I have understood him while trying to understand myself and I know how he feels. I am having a secret fight with God right now and I am questioning Him about this injustice and about His gross neglect of such a talented man. I hope my Dad gets success the way he had envisioned it. On his terms because he has sacrificed everything to stay true to his music. I wish I can do something about this. Maybe I can do something this, I just have to believe I can and then I will. Maybe this is the purpose of my life. Maybe thats why I am feeling so incomplete and so lost. My dad and I are two sides of the same coin and our lives and dreams and hopes and aspirations are all intertwined and I cannot live my true destiny without being a part of his destiny.

Just stay alive Dad.. Dont you dare die..Just stay alive. I promise that I will make sure that you get what you deserve. I will make sure that you will get your audience, I will make sure that you will get your encore, I will make sure that you get your standing ovation. Because thats the only way I can tell you that I love you Dad...