Rules of Engagement...

Ok, I know it can be a pain dealing with me, its difficult to be with me, its difficult to love me, its difficult to define me. I hear you guys, I feel your pain, so here it is, the 10 commandments , the do's and dont's of dealing with this very volatile Varman.

1) Be CONSISTENT: Do not attempt to do anything that you cannot continue for the rest of your time with me. I am a creature of habit. I get used to the nice, sweet things and when they are abruptly taken away from me, I get extremely cranky.

Exception: Yet at the same time, you will find me constantly fighting comfort zones because comfort zones make me uncomfortable.

2) COMMUNICATION Woes: My mom describes talking to me as the most impossible task and I know she is right. The fact is that I don't enjoy talking because I believe actions speak louder than words. I don't like having long conversations on the phone. Those of you who have attempted to co-ordinate a long distance relationship with me will tell you that I really mean it. I do not see the need to speak to my parents everyday so I definitely don't see the need of talking to you everyday either. If you are not here, you are not here. So no amount of calling cards or msn chat can make up for the absence. I don't believe in small talk either cause the virtue patience was not handed out to me, so if you do have something to say, just say it, don't beat around the bush.

3) Memory BITE: Beware of my memory. I systematically remember each and every thing that has hurt me and has made me cry and that's my constitution. Don't make any promises that you can't keep. I don't forgive and I don't forget. (yes, I know that its unhealthy and yes I know I should learn to let go) but the fact remains V is for Vendetta in my dictionary.

4) I need my SPACE: I have inherited all of my Dad's quirks and artistic eccentricities minus his talent. I am an artist looking for a medium and I have to emphasize the fact that when I hide in my cave, just let me be. I am in there for a reason. My mood swings are hard for even me to decipher so I cannot explain them to you.

5) I hate INDIFFERENCE: I cannot stand and will not tolerate indifference of any sort. If you have a problem, talk to me, don't give me the cold shoulder. If I have a problem with you, I will talk to you and I will spell the problem out and when I do, please hear me out.

I believe that fights are not necessarily bad. It gives you a platform to vent and say exactly how you feel at that point so that you don't stew unnecessarily over trivial matters. The day I dont want to talk about things anymore is the day I don't care.

6) Don't laugh at my DREAMS: I rarely talk about my dreams because my dreams are sacred. If you do get to hear them, please for heaven's sake don't scoff at them or tell me that will never come true. Yeah I know you are being realistic, but hey these are dreams for crying out loud, dreams pave the way of your future and I don't believe that dreams should have a ceiling.

7) Don't ask me to RESPECT you- The very fact that you ask me to respect you means that I unfortunately don't respect you. Respect needs to be earned. Respect cannot be forced. I don't respect people because of their age, I don't respect people because of their social status, I respect people because of their depth and their moral fibre.

8) Don't clip my WINGS: I have never kept a bird as a pet because its cruel to cage someone whose identity revolves around the capacity to fly, to soar, to explore. Freedom is worth fighting for, freedom is worth dying for.

9) Don't RUN away when the going gets tough: This is a promise, if I love you as a friend or as a lover, I will never abandon you in your tough times. I will stick you through thick through thin, till death do us apart. I might not be there in your good times but I will be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, I will be your pillar of strength, I will nourish you with positive energy even if it drains me, I will take care of you, I will fight the world for you and I mean this and I expect the same from you. Bad times bring out the best in me. I am a fighter, I am a trooper, I don't believe in giving up on you and I expect you to never give up on me either.

10) Don't be AFRAID of teaching me: Here is a secret. I am really not good in nothing. I just work very hard. I don't know everything, I have not had much of a childhood, I am a slow learner, I don't get things right the first time. Insecurity brings out the best in me. It makes me work harder. There are some things I don't understand, I rely on you to teach me. There are times I do wrong things, I trust you to tell me that I was wrong and teach me how to do it right. There are times I am hell bent to go the wrong way, I need someone to pull me in the right direction no matter how impossible that task might seem. I have great respect for teachers and I am what I am today because they were generous enough to share their knowledge and experiences with me.I understand the language of love, if you do it out of love and concern I will not misunderstand you.