Remembering Nanu Uncle

We had just moved to our new home. After months of living in other people's houses and existing like carefree gypsies in our blue gazelle, we finally had a place to call home. Damn, it felt good. I remember how we huddled together in our only razai/rug and clung on to each other. That was the first time I felt I totally belonged. That was the first time, I felt complete and safe.

We were the first family to move into the colony. Work on the new complex was still ongoing.I was barely 10 at that point and was totally bored of playing with my dolls so I decided to explore the deserted neighborhood. Made friends with the laborer's kids. I still remember Begum, she was my partner in crime for our various escapades. We discovered a litter of new-born pups. They were sleeping on top of one another, helplessly blind, adorable and cute. Looking after them was our full time job...

In the meanwhile, Dad and Mom were also discovering new things about the neighborhood. Dad bumped into his long lost friend Mr. Nanjappa who apparently were also moving into the same colony as we were and the best part was that he had two kids who were around my age- Almaz and Aparna who later became Chaklu and Poochie for me.I was overjoyed, I had real friends. Friends I could play with, friends with whom I could escape the drudgery of my day to day existence. Chaklu and Poochie were my best friends. Friends that showed me that joy was possible even if everything around me was grey and dismal.

Nanjappa uncle who I fondly addressed as Nanu uncle was the kindest and the most loving person I had ever met. He treated me as one of his kids and almost always took my side whenever we had a friendly battle. I secretly wished that Nanu uncle could be my daddy instead and I guess my Dad sensed that. Years later, Anu told me she resented that but she understood that why her dad was extra protective of me, I guess it was no secrect, I was having a tough time at home and escaping to be with the Nanjappa household was the only bright spot in my day.

When I was 16, I decided to leave Mumbai and relocate to Singapore because I really wanted to have a fair and honest shot in finding my destiny. My dad was livid and wanted to break all ties with me but I was adamant. I knew what I wanted (although at that point it was a hazy picture) and I was hell-bent. After all, I am my father's daughter, being stubborn runs in our genes!

Nanu uncle was not keeping very well at that point but none the less he encouraged me to go to Singapore to find my dreams. He told me that my Dad would come around. Most parents do..His parting gift to me was a key chain. Keys that would open doors of success and happiness for me.

I was shit scared. I was an innocent teenager who did not know how life was in a different suburb in Mumbai and here I was packed to leave the country, with no money in my pockets, no solid plan, no clue and above all with no blessings from the man who created me. All I knew was that I had to make it, I could not screw up, failure was not an option, I had to successful and I had to be someone that my dad would be proud of. I only had my dreams, hope and Nanu uncle's blind faith for company and so I did not feel alone.

And then one horrible day, I got a phone call from my mom. She had bad news. Nanu uncle had succumbed to his illness and he was no more with us. I was stunned. It was as if someone had punched me really hard in my stomach. It could not be true, and my emotions were over-whelming. I mean all I could think in my kiddy brain was that if Nanu uncle had to leave us, he would have definitely come to me in my dreams to say good-bye. He loved me like his own daughter, he could not have just left without saying good-bye to me.

This question always lurked in my head for almost a decade now. Everytime, there is good news to share, I always wish that Nanu uncle was around to hear it because he believed that I could do it. Everytime I speak to Chaklu and Poochie, we almost always regress to our kiddy days and fondly remember how he intervened when Chaklu cheated hopelessly in monopoly or when we all sat down and watched movies and when he used to take us out for a treat.

Although things have become considerably better with my Dad, but Nanu uncle will always have a special place in my heart.

And then all of a sudden, it happened last night. I saw him in my dream. He was smiling and joking in his regular fashion to somebody. Chaklu was singing and Poochie was playing the drums ( hey its a dream!) Topsy the dog was barking his heart out as if to contribute to the musical pandemonium. Bubun aunty and deeda (maternal grandmother in Bengali) were in the kitchen taking care of the food department. It seemed to be like a Nanjappa family re-union. My eyes went back to Nanu uncle and to the person he was talking to. I looked at the person closely. She was a young girl. And then it dawned upon me. That little girl was the 10 year old me.....

And then it suddenly came to me, Nanu uncle never considered me as an outsider. To him, I was a part of the family......

I miss you Nanu uncle. We all do....