The Power Within...

The one thing that I am really passionate about and is also one of my most well kept secrets is that I love weight training. Very close friends will tell you exactly how crazy I am about pumping iron.

There is something so exhilarating about lifting weights. It makes me feel powerful, it keeps me focused, it helps me overcome pain and rise over the ordinary and feel invincible. I have always believed that the best of me comes in the worst of circumstances. Maybe that's why I have never been able to purely enjoy the good that is currently in my life, because I feel uncomfortable in comfort zones. I have also really believed that I could get the impossible (that is whatever I want in life) if I am willing to put in blood, sweat and tears. I don't believe in luck, I don't believe that there are shortcuts. To be the best in whatever you do and to be consistently performing your best, you have to go through the process, no two ways about it. Yes Dad, you were right. Success comes to those who are not afraid of enduring the process of hardships, dedication, perseverance and sacrifice.

Being raised by a maestro, I got a little bit of the artistic temperament rubbed on to me and needless to say I feel big emotions and I have difficulty in containing them. I feel sorrow that makes me plummet in the deepest abyss of my mind, I feel joy that makes me soar and touch the sky, I feel excruciating pain when people whom I have loved have turned their back on me, I feel rage when bad things happen to good people. I feel compassion and I want to protect my loved ones from the ugliness of the world we live in, I feel guilt when I am unable to protect them from the harshness, I weep from the bottom of my heart when kindness and mercy is shown to me in spite of my shortcomings and above all I am driven by the truth. I want to hear it even if it means it could destroy the beliefs that I hold so strongly about myself and the world that I live in. So generally it comes as no surprise that I feel overwhelmed by these powerful emotions and I seek for comfort and protection and a place to hide and a place to heal and I find myself driving to my gym to find out what I am really made up of.

There is something so amazing about the gym environment. There is something so amazing to be in the company of hard-working soldiers. It instantly makes you want to work hard, makes you want to kick butt and instantly transforms me from the person who is looking for the meaning of her life to a warrior who knows what she wants and who can fight for the things she deserves. Whenever, life has handed me a blow that sends me reeling, I channel my anger by lifting weight. Sometimes by lifting heavier weight, and when the pain becomes unbearable and when I reach the point where I feel that I am dying underneath all that pressure I tell myself that if I can get through this now, I can get through any adversity in life. That gives me the strength to last a little longer, to push a little harder, to be a little stronger. It doesn't matter if by the end of the set, I find tears running down my face along with sweat and you cant make out the difference any more, it doesn't matter if your limbs are shaking as if you were in the midst of an earthquake, what matters is that I did it in spite of the odds, in spite of me being unsure in the beginning that I could do it.

I am not saying that I can achieve all of this just by myself. Everybody needs help and I am no different. That's why I train with the best. Liezel and Anita and of course De without whom I feel quite incomplete. Its amazing how a little bit of encouragement can go such a long way. As a kid I was exposed to alot of negative motivation. I was always told that I would be a failure and I fought very very hard to make sure I wasn't one. So I always believed that I should be extremely hard on myself to the extent of being quite cruel, because I felt that this was the only way to motivate myself. But in the company of these wonderful individuals, I have realized that I work much better when I am encouraged to be my best. Hard work doesn't necessarily mean being extremely hard on myself and this realization makes me want to work even harder. So I want to say a very big thank you to Liezel who makes me laugh through my tears, to Anita who works so hard herself that I cannot afford to not give her my very best and to De who loves me for who I am and God knows that is a very tough job. I love you all because you make me realize what I am really made up of...