Life In Transit

Leaving Doha is probably going to be one of the most toughest decisions I have ever made. As the days go by, I am feeling the intensity of my decision intertwine with every aspect of my life. I am teary, I am irritable, I have gotten used to being protected by Doha's comfort and I know its eating me that I am purposely uprooting myself from a place that I grew roots in and am throwing myself into a new city where I have to start all over again. No I am not regretting my decision. I know it is the right thing for me to do and it is the right time for me to move. I have this innate talent that always tells me the right time to walk away from a situation or a place and I have never regretted any of my decisions so far. But I guess towards the end, you start thinking about how it all started. I still remember how Nanupal and me packed furiously in my apartment a day before I was leaving Singapore for Doha with Faithless playing on repeat in the background.

When I was headhunted to work in Doha four and a half years ago, I didn’t even know where Qatar was. A quick Google search enlightened me about its address and I felt myself being intrigued by the possibility that lay ahead of me. Many years ago, when Sting released his song Desert Rose, I had a dream, a very memorable dream, I dreamt that I would find my oasis in the desert, that I would live in the Middle East at some point of my life. And now, suddenly it was happening. I wasn't afraid, even though the war had just started, but my friends and family were. My granny chanted numerous prayers to the Indian gods of safety, intelligence and generally good sense hoping that divine intervention would change my mind. They were not wrong, it seemed that I had everything going for me in Singapore. A rocking career, a seemingly steady relationship with a devoted man, friends and family. But there was something missing, something that I couldn't my finger on. I was restless to embark on a new adventure and I seemed to be okay to make all the sacrifices for my new journey. I knew I was ready to step out of my comfort zone. My mind was set.. I was going to Qatar.

I desperately needed a place like Doha to discover what I was made up of. I was this angry young girl who was in search for a calm oasis to seek refuge from the brutal desert of bitterness. I needed a quiet place to be able to listen and understand the chaos inside my mind. I needed space to grow and Doha gave me all the time and space I needed and for that I will be eternally grateful. I think I found myself on the Corniche, the beautiful blue green waters have always given me a place to find comfort and solace and inspiration when I needed it the most.





I loved Doha from the minute I landed there, there was something about this country that made me feel very comfortable and by the time I had completed my first three months, I felt that Doha was home. I pushed myself to break my shell and meet new people, make new friends, do new things.. I surprised myself when I re-decorated my house from scratch, I really thought that I would never be able to drive anything on wheels (apart from driving people up the wall), I never believed that I could lose all the weight I had accumulated in an attempt to cushion myself from the harshness of the world. I also never believed that I could break my heart in love. And yes break into a million smithereens it did and when I put myself back together I was a new person, someone who looked like me, spoke like me and yet there was a different aura about her. I guess its important to experience the pain of a broken heart. It just makes you a better person.





Thought I could hang on to my friends but that didnt work out too well either. Doha was country where everyone was a gypsy, everyone was here not because they wanted to be here but they had to. Doha is a Transit Nation. Everyone had a place to go back home to, unlike me, because I considered Doha home, home was where the work was. So I found myself in a phase where my friendships lasted like seasons and then suddenly it was winter, and I was alone in the middle of this desert and the found the familiar feeling of restlessnes and the urge for change creep over me. I have everything going for me today in Doha. A comfortable job, a nice comfortable life, a lover but I feel that there is still something missing. I feel that there is a different me waiting to be discovered in a different place, I feel that there are still so many things about me that I still dont know yet. I am curious to know this new person, I am intruiged to know where my destiny wants to take me, and I find myself entranced and following the Pied Piper inspite of the sacrifices that come with this decision. I find me telling myself that I will be ok inspite of everything.





So today, there are boxes all over the house which became my home, that changed with me over the years, that was a silent witness to all the drama and metamorphosis I went through to become the person that I am today. As I fill each box with memories to take with me for my new adventure, I feel the need to remember the moments that have brought so much of change in my life. But I feel the need to celebrate the present so that I can look forward to my future. I am looking forward to meet the new Me...